That’s Just Wrong!

By Carl and Jo Ann Hauser
Here’s a trivia question for you: What do Warren Buffett and I have in common besides the number four? I have 40 dollars in my pocket and he has 40 billion. Give up? We both own a 2006 Cadillac DTS. He has only 20,000 miles on his (apparently he doesn’t drive much!). Mine has more like 115, 000 miles. He sold his at a charity auction for $120,000. If there’s anyone interested in my 2006 DTS, I would be happy to accept the same offer! I know, “That’s just wrong!”

Let me give you some other examples where you can use the phrase, “That’s just wrong!” Jo Ann and I got new carpet for our bedroom. With new carpet came new rules. Like, I can no longer wear shoes into the bedroom; I can no longer eat snacks or bring drinks into the bedroom. However, Jo Ann can still run around the room with a toothbrush in her mouth, drooling! All of you say it with me . . . “That’s just wrong!”

On the news we saw where a Dachshund saved a Saint Bernard from the mud. Like Lassie, the little dog ran for help. That’s not wrong, but it is peculiar. The Saint Bernard looked thoroughly embarrassed. On the other hand, Roseanne Barr singing the National Anthem . . . “That’s just wrong!” The Patriots winning another Super Bowl . . . “That’s just wrong!” Eating pizza for breakfast . . . “That’s just wrong!” Ordering chicken at a steak place . . . “That’s just wrong!” And finally, running out of cheese balls while playing bridge; that was definitely wrong. The girls got rowdy!

I’m sure we have all been around someone at one time or another who was just in the wrong job. While working at the Post Office, we had a few in that category. The first guy we nicknamed ‘Smokin’ Joe.’ His first day he came into the station, beaming with pride and said, “I took the Post Office exam nine times; I finally passed!” After several weeks he was still having difficulty sorting all the mail for his route, and accurately delivering to the right addresses. One stormy day he came back off his route with smoke literally coming out of his shoes; he had been struck by lightning! Thus the name ‘Smokin’ Joe.’ A few weeks later in another storm, he was struck again. About a week later they let him go for failure to deliver all his mail.

Another rookie our supervisor just loved. He was sure this guy was going to be the greatest mailman ever! The first day he was there, he was put in front of a case to sort mail. After about an hour we went to check on him. He had disappeared; the dock doors were still swinging, but he was nowhere in sight. Our supervisor, still convinced that this guy was going to be the greatest, got on the phone and talked him into coming back the next day. The next morning we put him in front of another case; this time we checked on him after one-half hour. He had disappeared again! We looked back at the dock doors; they were still swinging. We nicknamed him ‘The Phantom.’ Our supervisor again got on the phone, pleaded with him to come back and try it one more time. ‘The Phantom’ showed up the next morning. This time we went to check on him after fifteen minutes. All we saw was the dock door swinging! ‘The Phantom’ had disappeared forever!

Sometimes it’s obvious when someone is right for a job. Wendy McCourt has worked for our Senior Center for nine and one-half years. The last several years she has been our kitchen manager. Wendy loves our Seniors. Besides serving great meals, she played bridge with us on Tuesdays and Thursdays, when she could find the time. She even let us pull on her pony tail. Wendy, like all the girls, put in extra time when a Senior was in need. She also served up hamburgers, brats, and kettle corn, fund-raising for us at the festivals in High Rolls. Our sweet Wendy has decided to start her own business, by taking over the tee-shirt shop on Burro Avenue. We wish her well! We hope she’ll come back once and a while to play bridge with us. Be sure to stop by her new tee-shirt shop!

So let’s review what we’ve learned. 1) When you stop by Wendy’s place to buy a tee-shirt, ask if you can pull her pony tail. 2) If you’ve been struck by lightning, it might be time for a career change. 3) Driving an old Cadillac will make you rich. (although it hasn’t worked for me) 4) Walking around a room while brushing your teeth . . . “That’s just wrong!” 5) Come on down to the Senior Center for lunch; that would be right! 6) Remember, Jesus died for you. May God bless you and keep you this Easter season.

Besides our terrific meals and new salad bar, we enjoy playing Farkle, Dominoes, bridge, exercising, going down the mountain to movies, and Joker. New day trips are being planned ~ come join us for the fun; now that’s right!

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