Post-Holiday Blues

By Carl and Jo Ann Hauser
This past Christmas took an unexpected turn. It was a few days after Thanksgiving; it was one of those slow days. I actually got to take an afternoon nap. I awoke to the pleasant smell of cookies baking. Strolling down the stairs, I then rounded the corner into our kitchen. Shocked at what I saw, the Christmas tree had been put up, complete with lights and ornaments. Jo Ann was smiling, proud of all her accomplishments. I put my hand to her forehead to see if she was running a fever. Then I checked her eyes to see if she had banged her head on something (nope ~ no trauma). Thirty-two years of me whining about helping put up the tree had finally paid off! If you’ll remember, just two years ago I caught Jo Ann spitting in my sink, so she wouldn’t have to clean hers. Progress has been made. Dare I push things a step further?

At Christmas Jo Ann always tries to make a pact with me that we don’t buy each other presents. In 1960 my parents made a pact. My father was a democrat; my mother a republican. They made a pact not to vote in the big Kennedy/Nixon election. The rationale? They would just cancel each other out. My father changed his mind and voted. He later confessed, but it was months before he got out of the dog house. I may be cheap, but I am smarter than a fifth-grader . . . not getting her a present wasn’t an option. However, I was willing to push the envelope. We were at the mall, shopping for our kids’ Christmas presents, when I suggested buying our own Christmas presents. She quickly agreed! Again, no fever, eyes not dilated. Not only that, she wrapped it herself! You’d think by now I would have started to feel guilty. Nope — not yet!

Just when you think you‘re done with the holidays, here comes February. For Senior women Valentine’s Day is probably their favorite holiday. After thirty-two years or more, Senior men should have this one down to a science. First you take your lady out for an expensive dinner. Chocolates are mandatory! Flowers are optional, depending on how good the meal was. Make sure she has taken her Zantac for acid reflux. (If you want to play around later) Finally, in bed by seven and by seven-twenty you are watching your favorite episode of NCIS.

Now this may come as a shock to you Senior women, Valentine’s Day is not a man’s favorite February holiday. Can you say . . . Super Bowl? Here’s what our favorite holiday should look like. We guys get to sleep in ‘til noon. (We call that the pre-game warm-up) Snacks start at 12:30. We break out the beer and pretzels at 2:00. At 5:00 when the game begins, we start hallucinating, seeing talking camels discussing hump-day, dogs using the toilets at the gas station, and Clydesdales playing football. At 6:00 you make sure your wife took her Zantac. At 7:00 you are in bed. At 7:20, you are watching your favorite episode of NCIS.

So let’s review what we’ve learned. 1) Don’t give up; your wife can still be trained. 2) The Detroit Lions were robbed. 3) The Dallas Cowboys were robbed. 4) I don’t care because . . . 5) We’re Kansas City Chiefs Fans!

Our new salad bar is a great success! As a Senior, you may have the regular hot meal, the salad bar, or both just for a two-dollar donation! Those under sixty-years-old may enjoy the salad bar for only five dollars! We know it is cold out there, but don’t forget us in the winter. Come and warm up and eat ~ our food is great! We will have a lovely Valentine’s dinner (lunch) on Friday, February 13, complete with steak and potatoes that you won’t want to miss! If you like exercising, playing bridge, Joker or Dominoes, we are here for you!

In January we lost our dear friend Dennis Davis. He was one of our best volunteers. He worked on our floats; he was always there for Roadrunner. Dennis was a master carpenter, ready to help anybody in need. May the Comforter be with Sue and her entire family. May our Lord Jesus Christ bless you and keep all of you safe.