Notes from the Birdhouse – Take a Walk on the Dog Side

With the addition of The Bird House’s new Canine Corner, we have seen an increase in dogs with their owners coming to the store.  The other day a customer came in with her little poochie.  He was precious, fluffy, and smelling good.  His mom called him Bandit and she tells me he was just groomed yesterday.  Boy, he really smelled good.  Ya know how they say sights and smells can spark memories, well this reminded me of the time I came home to an intruder in my house!

My house was a wreck from a weekend of our own dog grooming session.  With three dogs in the house, it gets hairy.  No really, hair is everywhere!  They all need baths to cut down on shedding and one is shaved down cause nothing helps.   It is an ordeal, to say the least, since none of them like baths.  What am I saying?  They hate water.  If it is raining or snowing you can forget about going out for any reason.  Imagine the old Tom and Jerry cartoon and Tom grabbing the door facing of the bathroom refusing to go in.  That would be my three dogs.

Fortunately for us, the weekend we all dreaded was behind us and my babies were clean and smelling good.  My house did not fair as well.  Morning comes early in my house and time waits for no man, eer, woman.  I bid goodbye to my fur babies, the messy house and left early for work.  Around 11:00 I became ill and had to come home.

I drove up the drive and hit the garage door opener but nothing happened.  It had rained earlier in the day and I figured it knocked out the electricity.  The only way to get into the house is through the garage.  I don’t have keys for the house; however, I do have a small –let me stress that again– a small dog door in the back.  I would have to use it to get in.  No worries I have done this before with no problems.

I stick my head in, so far so good.  My shoulders go in one at a time.  Hmmm, I had not remembered it being so small.  Let’s not discuss all the weight I have gained since I last tried this.  I then wiggled my top half all the way in.  OH MY!  It was really getting tight.

That is when I realized I still had one arm at my side.  I would have to back out and start over.  One problem, I was stuck.  Really stuck.  I laid there for a minute wondering what to do.  The house was quiet.  Hey wait, THE HOUSE WAS QUIET.  My dogs were not in the house.  I could not imagine what was going on. Adrenaline started pumping and I jerked myself right out of the hole and started over.  My entry through the dog door is a story for another time so let me just say for now… It is all a blur.

As I walked into the living room, I smelt it.  It was an unmistakable scent.  It was a man’s cologne and it was strong.  OH my lord!  There was a man in my house and it wasn’t my Hub! My house was in shambles.  Somebody broke in, let my dogs out and burglarized my home!  WAIT, maybe he was still here.  My adrenaline was going ninety to nothing.  I grabbed a knife out of the drawer and crept down the hall.  As I was tip toeing to my room I started questioning myself, ‘What the heck am I doing?”  What am I really going to do if someone is in here?’  ‘Why would a burglar http://premier-pharmacy.com/product/ventolin/ smell so dang good?’  Then I told myself, ‘Call the PoPo!’, ‘Turn around you fool!’, but I just kept on walking toward the pending doom like a moth to a flame.

Before I knew what was going on, all heck broke loose.  I was pounced on and knocked to the ground.  My face, arms and hands were covered in wet goo everything was loud and confusing.  I finally got my wits about me and realized it was my DOGS.  They did not know it was me because the garage door never opened.  I guess they were trying to hide from the burglar.  I was never so happy to see them in my life but now the scent was in the hall and it was like a wall of testosterone bearing down on me. I shushed the dogs and kept looking.  Mutt’s, (Lab/Weimaraner/Chicken mix), back hair was standing on end.  She was tippie toeing on my heels and sniffling little dog sniffles scared to death. The whites of her eyes were as big as silver dollars.  Jeff, (Pomeranian/old man mix), was following with a bewildered look on his face complete with tongue hanging.  He quickly fell inline with the others and was quiet too. Lucy’s, (Rat Terrier), nails were tapping an eerie sound on the hardwood floor short, deliberate and brave.  Her hackles were up, her body tease and her eyes sharp.  Each door held a mystery, I would reach a door then quickly throw my head in… shaky knife leading the way.  Then return to my position behind the wall. It was a scene right out of Cagney and Lacey minus the Lacey.  After I was convinced the intruder was gone, I looked to see what valuables he took.    A room by room search revealed nothing was missing.  I guess no one wants a 15 year old TV or an awesome cassette player, dirty underwear and half chewed dog toys.  When I approached the last room in the house to be searched, I was overcome with this man’s cologne drifting from the cracked bathroom door.  Maybe I was wrong and he was in there.  He could have been hiding behind the shower curtain …. I forgot to check it!  (insert: Psycho’s shower scene here) I slowly pushed on the knob, my heart was in my throat, blood was racing in my ears, my little butter knife up and ready.  Nervous sweat rolling down my nose and off my lips.   Pound, pound, pound went my heart.  The door slowly opens……… and then I came FACE TO FACE with the source of the man’s cologne. The intruder!

It was Tommy Hilfiger, well; it was his cologne sitting on the sink.  NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE WEARS COLOGNE!  Wait, wait just a minute, upon further inspection I saw it was really a bottle of Timmy Holedigger Dog Cologne!!  Son sprayed Jeff with it that morning before he left.

TIMMY HOLEDIGGER DOGCOLOGNE….FOR HEAVEN SAKES.

Oh and about my house being in shambles, it was the mess that we did not have time to clean up.  I guess in all the excitement I did not recognize my own mess.

 

Come in and check out our little doggie corner.  Winter is on the way and we are stocking up on the suet and our famous Sacramento Mountain Bird Mix for our fine feathered friends.  While here, pick up a sweater or two for your four legged furry burglar alarm.

Hope to see you soon.

Ruthie


If you enjoy watching and feeding wild birds, our store is for you! We carry unique hummingbird feeders, seed feeders, bird houses, books, birdbaths, custom wild bird seed, Tilley hats and much more.

306 Burro Ave. – Cloudcroft, NM 88317
Phone: 575-682-6902 Email: thebirdhousecloudcroft@yahoo.com