Follow Me to the Senior Center Senioritis

by Carl and Jo Ann Hauser
Yes, it’s graduation time again here on our mountain. The senior Bears can’t wait to step out into the real world. To borrow a phrase from Martin Luther King, “Free at last; free at last. Thank God Almighty; we are free at last!” Except in this case the graduating seniors are now free to get a job, get their own place, get a job, go to college, get a job, vote, get a job, get married, or even get a job!

Now, you remember high school (some of the best and worst days of your life). Take dating for example. I remember being on a double date at a drive-in. My friend drove his dad’s 1967 Camaro, so he and his girl were in the front seat, and I was with my date in the back. Now, if you are old enough to remember drive-ins, the most important thing was not the movie. So, I thought things were going well (you know, making out with my girl), when all of a sudden WHACK! She slaps me! Not just a little love tap; it made the couple in front jump out of their seats. “What was that for?” I said in a low, quiet voice, hoping no one had noticed. She said, “That’s for what you were thinking.” Confused, I moved as far away as I could. A few minutes later she acted like nothing had happened, and moved over next to me. After a while I had regained my composure and what was left of my confidence, and we started to kiss. WHACK! She slapped me again! As this point I’m not sure who was more embarrassed, my friend and his girl or me, but my date was having a good time! So, with great reservation I asked, “What was that for?” She said, “For what you were about to do.” Now, if you’ve ever been in the back seat of a Camaro, there’s not a whole lot of room back there. And, there is a high probability you could accidently touch something you are not supposed to, but I didn’t . . . honest . . . really! And at this point I’m pretty sure she didn’t know what I was thinking. The only thing I could do, trapped in the back seat of a Camaro, with a crazy woman, was watch the movie.

I did have one other memorable moment at a high school church camp. It was one of those warm, summer nights. I had managed to talk this girl I liked into walking down by the lake. So, there we were, a romantic moonlit night. We sat down on the dock, and dangled our feet in the water. After a few minutes of polite conversation I started to make my move, leaning toward her for a kiss. She began to giggle. So, I drew back, but after a few more minutes of polite conversation, I tried again. Laughter ensued. She was kind of like a Geiger Counter ~ the closer I got, the louder she laughed! Not easily defeated, I pulled back and regrouped for one last attempt. The third time, she laughed so hard, she almost fell off the pier! If these had been my first two dates in life, they would have been my last! In hind sight I’m pretty sure any crisis a high school boy had could be directly attributed to a high school girl.

Back in Kansas finding a place to park with your girlfriend took some planning. However, here in Cloudcroft it’s so dark, most nights you could park in your girlfriend’s driveway, and her parents wouldn’t know. Besides, if you parked in some remote spot out of town, you could get licked by an elk, sniffed by a bear, or sprayed by a skunk! And, if you took a few steps from your car, you may not find it again!

FYI kids, senioritis for us over 60 looks a little different. If we went back to high school, we actually would need the hall pass to go to the rest room. We men wouldn’t be worried whether we could grow a mustache, because we would be trying to figure out how to stop the hair from growing out of our ears! At a football game, the oxygen would be in the stands, not on the field. The worst part of the back seat of a Camaro would be getting back out!

So, what do an eighteen-year-old high school boy and a grandpa have in common? One just started a job; the other just retired. When someone asks you if you tied the knot, one thinks it’s about marriage, the other his shoes! When someone says, “See the world,” the eighteen-year-old thinks ‘join the Navy,’ the Senior thinks ‘take a cruise.’ So, what do an eighteen-year-old boy and a grandpa have in common? Girls ~ girls ~ girls! Those little angels that cast their spell on you in high school are still at it when you are sixty! Forever a mystery to men.

So, cheer up, Class of 2012! Life is about to get better and worse, exciting and boring, joyful and occasionally painful. Congratulations seniors! May God grant you the wisdom of Solomon, the patience of Job, and the love of Christ . . . oh yeah, and get a job!

At the Senior Center we always have a lot going on. Kathy and Jimmy have a Camaro, so you could ask to rent out the back seat for spooning with your girlfriend. There is probably not a drive-in for 200 miles, but we do have a big screen TV! So, come on down and share a meal with friends Monday through Friday from 11:30 ‘til 12:15, calling 682-3022 by 9:30AM for reservations. Call the Center to sign up for a trip to Alamo on Mondays for shopping and lunch out. Come for a game of Mexican Train before lunch, Farkle Fridays or bridge with friends after lunch on Thursdays. Exercise with Gail one morning a week. Have your vitals taken Friday before lunch. Check out our website designed by Marty Ware at www.mtnseniors.com. THE CLOUDCROFT SENIOR CENTER ~ THE SURE CURE FOR SENIORITIS!!!