Notes from the Birdhouse – A Freaky Visitor

This happened back around Thanksgiving and if Stella knew I was writing about her she would shoot me. So Please Don’t Tell. If you don’t like creepy crawly things, then don’t read. You have now been officially warned.

Main characters D – Stella/Daughter, M – Me, H – Husband

D – “Mom?”

M – “Yes”

D – “Did you see the message someone left on your phone?”

M – “You mean the screen saver that said, Good Morning I see the assassins have failed. Yes, I saw it and it sort of freaked me out. That is until I remembered seeing you pick up my phone as I was going to bed. Shame on you.”

D – Uncontrollable laughter

M- “Listen, you need to get your bath earlier tonight because I am going to take a nice steamy hot bubble bath and I need all the hot water I can get. It is going to be a “full to the top” Jacuzzi night for me. And I want no interruptions for ANYONE.”

D- “K”

40 minutes later the shower is running.
Ten minutes later, I see Daughter walking like a drenched zombie down the hall. Totally soaked and dripping hair, soap on half of her body and glazed over eyes the size of silver dollars.
My immediate reaction was a horrid feeling in the pit of my stomach. I jumped up and ran to her to see what was going on.

M – ” Oh my god, what? What is it?”

Her hands were trembling.

D – silent

M – “ what is wrong?”

D – (wee little voice) ” I.. I ..I ..I saw it.”

M- “What? Saw what?”

I ran to the bathroom and searched behind the door, out the window and in the hamper. Nothing. I turned off the water and ran back to her.

D – now on the floor shaking uncontrollably.


I am now starting to get mad as all get out. I want answers.

D – ” I was sitting in the shower shaving my legs. Something out of place caught my eye. I looked down and….and…


D – That glazed eye look again.

M – “Honey what was it?”

D – “Mom it was legs, hairy, hairy legs.”

What the hell..o?

M – “Your legs?”

D – “NO! I saw hairy legs poking out of the holes of the drain cover. I kept watching and then two more legs crept out with a body attached!”

Uncontrollable shaking, teeth chattering —-(oh that was me). Daughter was numb and sitting completely still.

M – “WHAT?”

D – “Mom, a spider came out of the drain and it is still in the tub…..get it out! Get It Out! GET IT OUT NOW.”

M – “Okay, Okay, geez scare me to death next time won’t ya?”

A little history: Daughter has had a life long fear of spiders. She stopped taking baths because spiders would fall down on her in the water or they would hide in the jets of the tub. She would turn on the jets and out would come spiders trying to cling to her for dear life. She would be screaming her face off and scrambling to get out of the soapy tub. Not good.
I grabbed a paper towel to remove it as I walked to the bathroom. I don’t believe in killing anything unless I have to. Boys that bring my daughter home too late… would be a have to.

M – “Okay where is this humongous spider? I can’t find it!”

D – “Look at the drain cover or under the seat.”

M – “Why in the world can’t you just get over your fear of spiders? I swear when I was your age I was scared too but I willed myself to not be afraid of them. I am not always going to be here to remove spiders for you. Listen little girl, you had better learn how to put your big girl panties on and deal wit…..”

Heart racing, eyes bugging, going to faint! (That would be me again)

D – “Mom?”

M- silent

D – “MOM!?”

M – “Call your dad. Call your dad NOW.”

D – “Dad, DAD, DAD, DAD!”

H – “What is going on in here? You two are making so much noise I can’t hear the TV. Why are you behind the door and why are you in the floor? Why are you shaking? What is going on here?”

M – points to the tub

D – points to the tub

H – “DAMN!”

A Wolf Spider and Yes it is as big as your screen. It would fit from finger tip to end of hand easily. How in the world did it crawl out of the drain cover?

H – squishes it

H- “Gross” (walks away)

D – Gag, gag (audible)

M – Woozy and still on floor (yes, I know I am a big wuss)

D- “I am going to rinse the soap off in your shower,,, On second thought come with me.”

M- walks behind Daughter in a bit of a dazed.

D- “Thanks mom” (Daughter is clean, dried and disappears)

I am thinking now would be a great time for that relaxing bath and a glass of wine. I ran the water all the way to the top. I get in and start to relax. What a perfect gift of hot steamy water to soak away the tension of the day. All I needed was bubbles and my glass of wine to add icing to the cake. I turned on the jets and poured in the soap.

M – Scream! Scream, Scream!! (yes that would be me, again)

D – “Mom what’s wrong, what is it? Let me in!”

Door opens. Daughter walks in.

D – “See I told you!! That is why I don’t take baths any more only showers!”

Six surfing baby spiders clinging to me for dear life.

(Lawd, where is that bottle of wine when you need it?)

Big News, Again, From The Bird House

We have just signed the lease for the space next to the newest space we just rented located at the Cloudcroft Mall. Now, the Bird House is going to be bigger and better than ever before and all under one roof. I will keep you up to date on our progress and grand opening. In the mean time, make sure to pop in and say howdy the next time you are in town.

Until next time, keep your eyes to the skies.