Follow Me to the Senior Center “A Christmas Story”

by Carl and Jo Ann Hauser
It was about a week before Christmas- one of those cold dreary days- the night before it had snowed three or four inches, followed by a nice coating of ice. A typical Kansas City winter storm. I was delivering the mail, being oh-so-careful. My route was in a very hilly area, with the homes perched along the top, and the road about fifty feet below. I had just climbed up to one home, and was only a few feet from their mailbox, when I heard a soft voice saying, “Yoo-hoo, Mailman, can you take my letter?” I looked down below and there was Mrs. Peterson, waving and smiling oh-so-sweetly. (Did I mention there was a mailbox ten feet behind her?) I started to turn and was going to say something snarky, like, “Seriously, Woman!” I took one step toward her and began sliding down the driveway. Now this was a really l-o-n-g driveway, so I was picking up some serious speed. Somehow I managed to keep my balance and my composure. I must have done a pretty good job of looking nonchalant, because as I hit the bottom of the driveway, and was streaking by Mrs. Peterson, she handed me the letter and said, “Have a nice day!” Now I found myself speeding down the road, doing about 50 in a 25, and beginning to feel a little bit like Wile E. Coyote. Mrs. Peterson might as well have handed me a stick of dynamite, as I was heading full speed toward an expressway. Looking for options and not willing to be flattened by a semi, I spotted a snow bank where the plows had neatly piled up the snow. With the greatest of skill I managed to fly head-first into the snow bank, leaving my impression in the snow (much like Wile E. Coyote). Looking back up the hill, I saw the mail box that I was oh-so-close to was now 300 feet away!
Near the end of the day, things were going a little better. I came to one of my last deliveries, an apartment complex that was home to many college students. I had a parcel for one young man, and as I approached his door I smelled a powerful, pungent odor. Having been in college myself during the late 60s, I somehow recognized the smell as marijuana. Being the good postman that I was, I pounded on his door, and yelled, “Federal Agent!” I could hear soft screams of panic, furniture being knocked over, and finally a toilet flushing. He answered the door with a look of shock and dismay. I handed him the parcel saying, “Have a nice day.” With the day coming to a close, I began to feel good about what I had accomplished. After all, besides delivering the mail, I had entertained an old lady and helped a college student (pothead) make it to his final exams!
Now, you too can feel good about yourselves. Come to the Senior Center Christmas Party on Friday, December 16, where we have our annual gift exchange. This is your opportunity to get rid of some old things lying around the house. I plan on putting a bow around my wife and seeing what happens. Put that new puppy that’s been peeing on the carpet in a box with air holes and a fancy ribbon, or rewrap that porcelain rooster that you got from your Aunt Sue last year. You might even consider bringing something nice like Topsy’s Popcorn. The best part is that you are allowed to steal someone else’s gift when your name is drawn. So, come on down to the Senior Center; make some new friends or possibly some new enemies (if you steal someone’s gift).
We have a multitude of events going on in December: shopping excursion to Las Cruces, Christmas Crafts, help Decorate the Senior Center, Cookie Exchange, Gingerbread House Decorating Contest, Singing Carols, Baking for the Homebound. Call the Senior Center at 682-3022 for details and reservations. As always we have our regular services: homebound meals, transportation via the van, bridge on Thursdays, Farkle Fridays, exercising before our gourmet lunches. You can also get a first-hand look at how we roll at As Christmas is about giving, we wish to especially acknowledge Vickie Ritter, who faithfully volunteers in our kitchen. Thank you, Vickie!
Oh, by the way, the real Christmas story: Our Lord Jesus Christ, born of a virgin, came to save us from our sins. May your faith be ever increasing, and God’s grace abound in your life! Have a wonderful Christmas!

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