Follow Me to the Senior Center (Subtitle: I’m Not Boring)

By Carl and Jo Ann Hauser
I try not to make these articles about me, but sometimes you have to take a stand! You know . . . draw a line in the sand. I was sitting at home, minding my own business, when my wife shows up with three of her girlfriends. They had come over to have a glass of wine together. So, I thought I would sit and talk with them for a while. (First mistake) Somehow, four women got onto the topic of men. (Hard to imagine) One of the ladies suggested many men are boring, including me. I was so incensed; I made them take a vote. (Second mistake) Gloria abstained (with age comes wisdom). The rest, Kathy, Marrianne, and even my wife Jo Ann, unanimously voted me boring. My pride severely wounded, I made them vote three times. (No change) My third mistake was I remained at the table as the topic shifted to who had anonymously sent Marrianne two dozen roses for Mothers’ Day. One of them asked if I had sent her the flowers. With my wife sitting next to me, if I answered yes to that question I would be both not boring and dead! (I would have had to send my wife three dozen roses!) If I answer no (which is the truth), I’m back to being boring. Not only did I not send the flowers, I have lived here five years and the location of the nearest florist escapes me! Then I had an epiphany: I’m not boring; I’m cheap! Not only that, I know at least two other guys who are bigger tightwads than I am.

One of my friends got tired of paying for those pesky hotel bills as he and his wife drove across the country delivering fifth-wheels. He decided to put a camper shell on his pick-up, and told his wife taking showers at a truck stop can be quite an adventure! (Not boring!) Another friend just booked a really cheap cruise, and talked us into doing the same. I was wondering how he found such a good deal. Thinking the cruise ship sounded familiar, I remembered hearing about it on the news last year ~ you know, the one that got stranded at sea for three days without power. The coast guard air-dropped spam to the starving passengers. (Not boring)

So, women, do not confuse boring with cheap! Men, at the Senior Center you can be cheap and not boring! Take your wives out and for a few dollars (Donation!!!) you can have lunch, go dancing, attend exercise class, ride the Van to Alamo for shopping, play bridge or Farkle. Or, just hang out with the guys and talk about your high-maintenance wives. So for a really good time, make your reservations and crank phone calls to Kathy and Marrianne at 682-3022, and tell them we men are not boring! Oh, and if you are one of dozens of men who claimed to have sent Marrianne roses, make your best case at www.confesstomarrianne.com!

A BIG THANK YOU to Amigo Realty for volunteering hours to assist in painting the Senior Center. We love you ladies! Also, a big Thank You to all who donate to ensure that Roadrunner Food Bank continues to drop food for families on the mountain ~ remember, only $2.50 allows a family to pick up fifty pounds of food! Roadrunner Food Bank is always the first Wednesday of each month at 2:00.