Follow Me to the Senior Center *Friendly Invasion*

By Carl and Jo Ann Hauser
Ahhhhhh ~ it’s almost summer and we are about to be invaded again! White-plate season! Where these smiling aliens come from the bugs are like turtles, they live to be one hundred, and never stop growing! They think they have the best barbecue in the world (it’s really in Kansas City!). They either drive five miles per hour to look at the elk, or they blow through town leaving a trail of fire. Big hair and oversized belt buckles never go out of style. They begin every sentence with “y’all.” They still think they are the biggest state in the Union (hello, anyone ever heard of Alaska?). And they believe the Dallas Cowboys are “America’s Team.” Seriously!!! That’s right . . . Texans! They are on their way back to what they fondly call “West Texas,” and what we call “Cloudcroft.”
We didn’t know how friendly and entertaining Texans could be until we decided to visit our son in Florida. Our first stop was Lubbock, where Texas Tech graciously allowed our KU Jayhawks to trounce them in basketball. (Thank you!) Our next stop was San Angelo, where with great dismay we discovered we had a flat tire. We hobbled into the Chevy dealership, where we were treated like royalty. They fixed our flat for free, and chauffeured us across the street to Burger King while we waited. (Thank you!) We had planned to stay a couple of days on Galveston Island . . . you know, warm beaches, nice sun . . . however, this was the first week of February, and an ice storm was approaching. We arrived on Galveston Island a little after noon, and hunkered down, expecting the worst. (We’re from Kansas) Apparently ice storms are rare in Texas and more like a sporting event. All the networks canceled their regular programming, and with a camera on every corner we watched reporters fall on their rears, and 800 of Texas’ brightest and finest smiling as they slid off the roads. (Thank you!) The other highlight of our trip was enjoying lunch with our son on a sunny beach in Florida ~ the temperature was a balmy 45 degrees ~ we listened to a mariachi band wearing winter parkas! After ten days of being chased by snow and ice across Texas, our warmest stop was Ft. Stockton. (Thank you?) So, welcome back Old Texans ~ we love “y’all!” ~ come on down to the Senior Center ~ put your feet up ~ sit a spell!
For Fathers’ Day we made a list of things Old Texans can get away with: 1)leave the toilet seat up; 2)make your wife do the barbecuing; 3)watch innocuous sporting events; and 4)get playful with your wife at midnight. The rest of us will take our wives out to dinner, and say, “Yes, Dear.”
An invitation to our sweet returning Texans: besides joining us for lunch every weekday, look into our exercise classes, dance classes, bridge afternoons, van rides to Alamogordo for shopping and lunch, Roadrunner Food Bank the first Wednesday of every month at 2:00. Remember to call our good-time girls Kathy and Marrianne at 682-3022, and enjoy our new phone system! Seriously, we’re glad you are back and following us to the Senior Center!

One Comment

  1. Comment by Lifeisabowlofkibble:

    Thanks for the giggle.  Now first off Memphis, MEMPHIS has the BEST BBQ in the world.  Second, we at the Bird House can’t wait for our Texas friends to return.  Missed ya Texas.  still funny.

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